While going through old files, my husband stumbled upon a video from 2009.

It was filmed on his handycam and showed me, in full hair and makeup, preparing for a photoshoot.  He catches me looking in the mirror and I lament to him that I don’t feel like shooting anymore.  I ask him to “turn the camera off”.

What I had envisioned for that shoot clearly wasn’t coming to fruition.  So I got frustrated and gave up.

There would be several stops and starts like this… for years.  I didn’t actually start In Spades until 2013.  And even once I did, I told no one about it for 6 months.  6 months!

Because I didn’t “reveal” myself to the blogging world until 6 months after launching, I consider May to be my blog anniversary month.  So…

Happy 6th Anniversary, In Spades!

I’ll be honest.  Each anniversary is different.  Some came and went without me even remembering.  Others were celebrated.

Here’s what I’ve learned after all these years

1. Just start.  Complete but imperfect will ALWAYS trump incomplete but perfect.  I wanted to start a blog 5 years before I actually did!  I waited 5 years to do something that brings me so much joy simply because I was scared it wouldn’t be perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist!

2. Be consistent.  This was another very difficult lesson for me to learn.  Prior to having a child, I averaged only 1 blog post per week and would only shoot 1 outfit at a time.  Now that I have a child (and am infinitely busier), I average 3 blog posts per week and shoot up to 8 outfits at a time.  I look back on how inefficient I was and can’t help but laugh.  I don’t know what it is, but it took me having a child (and being zapped of free time) to make me realize efficiency and consistency are paramount.  I no longer have time to hem and haw about how and when to do something.  I just have to DO IT or it won’t ever get done.

I love this quote about consistency and use it as my mantra:

“If only people understood how important it is to be consistent.  Everything that has value in life is a product of consistency.  Success, health, fitness, wealth, friendships, relationships, and all other aspirations are all about consistency.”

3. It takes a while to find your niche.  And that’s okay.  Some people go through life knowing exactly who they are and what they want and implement it to the “T”.  I am not one of those people.  My Fashion Friday series didn’t get developed until last year and it’s the piece that most perfectly envelopes my niche.

Fashion Friday really is who I am as a blogger – someone who cares deeply about brand history, the business of fashion, and the extreme importance of individual style.

4. Hone in on your true motivation.  I will be honest.  When I started In Spades, I fully aspired to be the next Chriselle Lim.  I had such a powerful belief that I would be a powerhouse, top 1% blogger.  Years of inconsistency and struggling to find my niche proved this was not going to be the case.

Sometimes I mourn this.  I think about what could have been.  What I thought would be.  Every time I see Chriselle sit front row at Paris Fashion Week and get massive deliveries of yet-to-be-released Givenchy my heart aches a little.

But then I think back to my true motivation.  Why did I start In Spades?  Interestingly, it was never about making money.  It was never about fame.

It was about communicating a love for an industry I deeply, deeply respect.  I have always felt fashion is the highest art form.  I’m motivated by what clothes teach us.  What they can achieve.  How they can transcend reality.  Clothing truly is transformative.

My motivation is to educate.  If I look at my end goal for In Spades, it’s that one day I will be able to call the fashion industry heavy hitters my peers.

The Moral of the Story

This quote by Ira Glass perfectly describes the old video that my husband found.  I’ve lived this quote.  I’m still living it.  Each post, each shoot, gets me closer to figuring out who I am as a creator.  It’s a never-ending journey.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

Thank you to all who have followed along on this journey.  Your support truly means the world to me.